If She Looked like this we wouldn't care if she Lip sync'd, Just so she Lip'd
Lip Sync a Bronx Cheer
10/24/04 Singer Ashlee Simpson, the younger sister of singer Jessica Simpson, walked off the stage on Saturday Night Live when the show's sound man accidentally played her vocal track before she was ready to lip sync to it. SNL's producer later explained that the embarrassing mistake wasn't made by the show's regular sound man, but by his marginally qualified, mentaly challanged younger brother.
In the key of fake
Teen songbird Ashlee Simpson had a microphone malfunction on "Saturday Night Live" last night, scurrying off stage when a production glitch caught her lip-synching the wrong tune.
The pop star, younger sister of singer and TV star Jessica Simpson, sounded great belting out "Pieces of Me" in her first segment on the show. It was the same song that she butchered at August's MTV Music Video Awards, drawing withering reviews for a flat, out of key performance.But the triumphant moment turned into a debacle when she came out to debut the song "Autobiography" for a second set. But whoever was responsible for piping in a studio-engineered rendition for Simpson to mouth screwed up, playing "Pieces" once again.The raven-haired beauty hopped around briefly, then slinked off the stage as her hapless band half-heartedly faked away. It didn't take long for critics to vent their rage on Ashlee Simpson's official Web site."Finally, you're exposed for the fraud that you are," wrote an E-mail poster named drdrewby minutes after the embarrassing performance. "You have cheated your fans and people who actually thought that you had a lick of talent. You should quit the music business because you are now and always will be a complete and utter joke."Said CowboyJeff99: "I knew she sounded like crap live, so I was 'wondering' what was going on when her voice sounded just like the radio edit."When the cast of the live show came out to bid the audience good night, actor Jude Law tried to explain Simpson's slipup."What can I say folks, live TV," Law shrugged.A still-humiliated Simpson apologized to her fans - and blamed her band for playing the wrong song.
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Gore Concedes
We, like millions of other Americans, are disappointed in the outcome of this election. But we remain optimistic about the future of America. We are a great nation. We will overcome any challenges we face during the next four years, and the deep divisions highlighted by this election will heal.
Confused Broadcasting Service
 CBS News has set up a two-member panel to
investigate (soften the blow through time) what went wrong with its story on President Bush's service in the Texas Air National Guard.
One member is the former Atty Gen. Dick Thornburgh. The
former two-term Republican governor of Pennsylvania served as
attorney general for Ronald Reagan and George
H. W. Bush.
The other member is former Associated Press chief executive officer Louis Boccardi. He retired last year as president and CEO of The AP. He served on the panel that probed operations at The New York Times in the wake of the Jayson Blair scandal.
CBS News admitted that it couldn't authenticate documents on which "60 Minutes" based a story that questioned Bush's Guard service during the Vietnam War.
So, lets hire a couple guys, put 'em on an expense account, wait for like-forever, then bury the story on page eight. Well, Mr. Rather may have to also watch out for the 1st. quarter contract season to see what his future might be.
[Page 2 - CBS-Confused]
Health News
By Maggie Box,
Health-Science Correspondent
Singer Network
There is nothing healthy today so here is some of the e-mail that I received today.
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself
slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a
banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
No," he replied, "arthritis".
Toilet Seat
It isn't widely known, but the first toilet seat was
invented by a Polish scientist in the 18th century. The invention was later modified by a Jewish inventor who put a hole in the seat.
Ten Commandments
The real reason that we can't have the Ten
Commandments in a Courthouse!
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a
building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It
creates a hostile work environment.
Zero Gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again
soon--enjoy paying them.
Other News
Other Humor
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Jesus 1 - Gays 0
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Advocates of traditional marriage are celebrating a clean sweep the morning after Election Day. All 11 states considering constitutional amendments defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman passed those initiatives. The margin of victory was decisive in all cases.
State |
Nea - Yea |
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75% - 25% |
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77% - 23% |
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75% - 25% |
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59% - 41% |
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86% - 14% |
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66% - 34% |
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73% - 27% |
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62% - 38% |
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76% - 24% |
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57% - 43% |
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66% - 34% |
Initiatives have passed in six other states bringing the total to 17 states. Alaska, Hawaii, Nebraska, Nevada, Missouri, and Louisiana passed similar initiatives in the past few months. These referendums on marriage are seen by some as a backlash to a 4-3 decision by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court in November 2003 that legalized same-sex marriage in that state.
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ABC DROPS
MISS AMERICA
Miss Alabama Diedre Downs models her swimsuit during final night competition in the Miss America pageant at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, New Jersey, September 18, 2004. Downs was later named Miss America 2005.
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Who is going to work for world peace?
Who is going to fight for world hunger?
Another institution bites the dust. After 50 years on network TV, Miss America has become a statistic at ABC. It was announced the network will no longer televise the nation's most celebrated beauty pageant.
"I just don't understand it. We fired Burt and we brought back the swim suits. What do they want, nudity?" said an unnamed contestant.
Duh!... Yeees!...
It's either nudity or eat a healthy helping of bovine entrails. That's what sells on other networks.
ABC aired the first three televised pageants, in 1954, 1955 and 1956.
The pageant was on CBS from 1957 through 1965.
NBC aired it from 1966 through 1996, except for 1977 when it was on CBS.
This year's Sept. 18 pageant drew 9.8 million viewers, 500,000 fewer than last year. Miss America estimates that 85 million people watched in 1960. |
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